Current mood:

sad

so once again i'll be working in Ann Arbor, as they've decided to put a hiring freeze on The News and must therefore reallocate jobs/people. i know i should be happy because i'm going back to work in the same office as my best good friends, but instead (once the bosses left their meeting with me), i started crying like the little orphan child that no one wants. i have been illogical for the past 1.5 days, but i've figured it out as such:

1. utter and complete panic about how the new job is going to affect my new bills. i have a mortgage and accompanying payments planned around my old job, which included my car payments and insurance being paid with my mileage check. since i'll no longer be an outside rep, that check is gone. however, it sounds as if i'll be making more in bonus as the new job, so things should be fine. should be. i'll stop worrying once i know it to be true.
2. i hate learning new things.
3. i love my boss and don't want to leave.
4. i'll no longer be working in the same city where my family lives, which means no more lunch dates. i'll see them even less. and i'm lonely now, sometimes.
5. i finally just started to feel like i was accomplishing good if not great things at my current job, and now i have to leave and let someone else take care of them. control issue, that.

To top it all off, I was given the job of going through and packing up many of grandma's old things so that they could be donated. And since I was in an already fragile state of mind, I cried the whole time. Wept, really... all kinds of howcouldyouleaveme and whydoesthishavetohappen and whatdifferencewouldithavemadeifyouwerehereanyway and goodlorddeonnastopbeingsoriggodamndiculous.